About a couple months ago I starting having doubts, for the first time in my life, about whether religion or Christianity for that matter are true or not. What triggered all this was when a hard-core Christian man went up to a friend of mine after a basketball game and commented on the warm-up music. Well all the music was rap and the man said “What’s with all this n****r shit?”
It was at that moment that I question my religion and my fellow Christians. You notice a lot more shit that doesn’t make sense when you aren’t fully devoted. Christianity has too many questions that don’t have answers…or atleast answers that don’t sound like complete bullshit. My main question is why? Why did God even create the Earth in the first place. Why did he create humans? Is there a point to our existence or was he just bored one day and decided to create shit? So far I haven’t found someone who can answer any of those questions. This is not the only reason for my doubts though. I read in history books or hear my teacher tell me about all the killing Christians have done in the past and it makes me wonder. If your religion is about love then why did you kill people for not believing what you believe or enslave millions of people because they were different?
Then again I have a hard time believing in science. I just can’t grasp the fact that I came from a bacteria. I mean, I believe in evolution to an extent but that just seems ridiculous. I guess I could just believe in nothing but that doesn’t really feel right either. I can’t believe in any other religion because the rest make less sense than Christianity. I am just going to stop worrying about it so much though because it is just getting stressful. The most stressful part of it is that I can’t even talk to anyone about it because almost everyone that I associate with is hard-core Christians. I told my mom and she surprisingly didn’t freak out, but I could tell that she was upset. She is the only one I have told. The only other person I could talk about it too would probably be Jamaal (cousin), because he isn’t interested in religion but he knows about it and is easy to talk too. I don’t have time to talk to him though so I finally decided to make this post. I had to let something out. I know this probably sounds stupid to a lot of people, but when you have been devoted to something all your life and then realize it might all be bullshit…well it can get upsetting.
